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Livia Gamble
Reporter
First dates are nerve-racking, but small talk can be worse. When an awkward silence hits, it’s either head for the nearest exit or mention the weather.
Reporter
First dates are nerve-racking, but small talk can be worse. When an awkward silence hits, it’s either head for the nearest exit or mention the weather.
For those that weren’t born with the gift of the gab, unlike the weather, there are some topics you should reach for when you start to feel the pressure of a first date.
What you should talk about
Talk about travel, not movies
A study by Richard Wiseman found that talking about movies gives you a less than 9 per cent chance of a second date. But talking about travel gave participants an 18 per cent chance of wanting to meet again. Wiseman says the reason for this is that men and women typically had very different movie tastes.
Throw the ball back in their court
Talking about yourself the entire date isn’t ideal but staying quiet is just as bad. When your date asks you a question, give your two cents and redirect the conversation back to them. This should set up the foundations of a smooth conversation.
Share secrets
New York psychologist Arthur Aron came up with a set of questions to speed up the ''getting to you know you'' process. Questions include: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Would you like to be famous? In what way? When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? More questions are here.
When in doubt, go for the controversial topic
Don’t worry about rocking the boat. Instead of talking about the news, behavioural researcher Dan Ariely says dive straight in and ask something personally revealing, such as: how many relationships have they had?
Do you like beer?
According to OK Cupid’s research, asking your date if they like the taste of beer will give you a good indication about whether they will have sex with you on the first date. Alternatively, asking if they like horror movies can reveal if they are looking for a long-term relationship.
What you should talk about
Talk about travel, not movies
A study by Richard Wiseman found that talking about movies gives you a less than 9 per cent chance of a second date. But talking about travel gave participants an 18 per cent chance of wanting to meet again. Wiseman says the reason for this is that men and women typically had very different movie tastes.
Throw the ball back in their court
Talking about yourself the entire date isn’t ideal but staying quiet is just as bad. When your date asks you a question, give your two cents and redirect the conversation back to them. This should set up the foundations of a smooth conversation.
Share secrets
New York psychologist Arthur Aron came up with a set of questions to speed up the ''getting to you know you'' process. Questions include: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Would you like to be famous? In what way? When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? More questions are here.
When in doubt, go for the controversial topic
Don’t worry about rocking the boat. Instead of talking about the news, behavioural researcher Dan Ariely says dive straight in and ask something personally revealing, such as: how many relationships have they had?
Do you like beer?
According to OK Cupid’s research, asking your date if they like the taste of beer will give you a good indication about whether they will have sex with you on the first date. Alternatively, asking if they like horror movies can reveal if they are looking for a long-term relationship.
What not to talk about
Don’t over-compliment your date
''Why would someone like you be interested in someone like me when you can have anyone you want?''
Asking questions like this sends a message that you think very little of yourself. Therapist and life coach John D. Moore says: ''If you are continuously complimenting your first date about their personal appearance, it may come off that you are fishing for a compliment.''.. Read More
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